WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
