Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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