WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
