Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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