In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
