come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
