she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
