A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
