Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
