Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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