I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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