watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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