idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
