bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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