Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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