Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
