You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
