did you get engaged???
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
