We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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