Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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