I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
