I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
