just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
