we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
worst night to have a conscience
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
