so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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