I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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