i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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