He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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