it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
