I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize