So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
