I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
