in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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