yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
