And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
