Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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