this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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