i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
