Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
