porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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