if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
