He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
