i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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