I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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