"it" just moved
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
