I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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