shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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