Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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