he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
