they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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