Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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