Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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