College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Houston, we have a squirter
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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