6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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