Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
