Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
