Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
