it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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