I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
